Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Major vent here & Day 18


Aaaargh, why do I always come across as such a meanie.

We need to have routine in our house after school, as far as homework and jobs are concerned, otherwise they just don't happen.

Yet....... all the other kids in the neighbourhood seem to be out and about all afternoon, one has to wonder when they have dinner, do homework, etc. This photo is an example, of the afternoon outside our house. Funnily enough we have all boys in the street, every single family is all boys, or only children, oh, and there are 3 boys missing.

Some are still out and about at 8pm, when on earth do they do homework. Last night mine were in bed, and asleep by 8, admittedly one had had a sleeping tablet, but the other was so knackered he crashed straight away, and they slept soundly through till 7am. Knowing they need to be settled earlyish, they need to come in early, yet I look the meanie when others are still playing.

What do you do, regarding homework? Make them do it before they go out to play, (and I'm not talking about 'playdates' where they go home after school with a friend and the mother, they're different), homework before TV, or let them relax and have some TV time first, homework after dinner, tell me your afternoon.

Now, I know there is no magic answer, and I know you are going to say, 'do what is right for you', but I'd just be interested to hear what your children do after school.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, I can imagine that must be quite difficult for you!

Ethan is only 5 1/2 so much younger than your boys, and not really playing with a bunch of neighbourhood kids at his age. But I still make him do his homework after he's had a snack, then the rest of the afternoon is for playing, watching TV, jumping on the tramp, etc. He goes to be at 7pm, same time as Tyler (who is 3). I can't see him having a much later bedtime than this. He's up again at 7 (sometimes earlier) and he needs 12h sleep.

Anonymous said...

Oh I hear you! I used to feel the same way until I realised that I wasn't the only one! This year the homework has increased 10 fold. SO I have had to be a lot stricter. So there are no playdates Monday -Thursday. Friday and the weekend is when he can have playdates. We don't have many kids in the street his age so he isn't distracted by that. I have started a new system to make sure he gets enough done in the week. Monday is no homework day, he has swimming and triathlons this term. So this afternoon he came home had a snack had 15mins playtime, I put the timer on. Then he had 30 mins solids time on the homework then he gets another 15 mins and this comtinues until he has done what I say he has to. He seems to be happy with this so far. Last week he got an A for his homework so I think he realises that if he puts in the effort he is rewarded.
At my nephews school they have an opt in opt out policy for homework. My sister says the majority of kids opt out of homework. This seems to be a popular way for primary and intermediate to be going with homework. Apparently there is research that shows homework is not beneficial at this age. My question to the researchers, how is not doing homework setting them up for good high school work practices? Do the kids in the street go to your boys school? Maybe they don't have homework? Tobyn is in bed at 8pm also. Just know that you are doing a great job with your kids. They have structure and routine and this sets them up well for the future. You are not a meanie!!!

Penny said...

Well someone has to set boundaries that will be valuable when they get older and into high school. It might as well be you! Time management and things like that are stuff that needs to be learned and the consequences of not using time wisely also has to be learned. I like Yvette's system.

Kids do need a wind down time & re-fuel stop after school of course. I don't think you're a meanie... just responsible.

Anonymous said...

We have a set time of the day 5Pm (But someone has left homework at school today) so as to avoid a certain programme on TV at this time. We do not have your problem as most of the kids around here play in their backyards and we never see them.

Vicki said...

We have a couple of kids in the street that play with Aaron. He is allowed to play after school but homework starts as soon as tea is finished and we have tea early. Then there is still time for everything else before bed.

Have already had the issue yesterday of telling me he didn't have homework and then I found it in his bag this morning. He has now been banned from the computer for not coming clean!

Beverley said...

For an ex teacher I'm so bad at homework! I think it's unfair to make them do it straight away - they need a break and something to eat after school. Theoretically they've been working hard all day at school and they are only kids - do we expect too much?

Rebekah does her homework between 7.30 and 8 - when I remember and the younger two are in bed. Alexander does his reader and spelling words in his room at bedtime.

I used to wonder if, as a teacher, I set homework to satisfy parents, not for the kids - and then I had to spend time marking it! I think they do need to learn basic facts, spelling words and read daily but rather than having other specific homework tasks I would rather have incomplete work sent home to finish for the day.

But having said all that I'd still be the meanie mum and not let my kids play out in the neighbourhood all hours. They still need routine, down time and family time.

Anonymous said...

I so know what you. We live in a cul de sac with only 12 houses but we have a total of 13 kids between the ages of 4-11! All who live on the street! Mine are like yours with rules and guidlines yet none of the others are. I'm the only big meanie who won't allow the kids back outside after tea (we all sat at the table together) the kids next door sat where ever they like (usually out the front)

Anonymous said...

opps that was meant to say I so know what you mean! lol

Anonymous said...

BTW you've been tagged!

Roo said...

We have a bunch here too. Jaymin gets to have about an hour after school to wind down and refuel. Then it is homework which we do for maybe a half hour or so. Then he gets to play again while I get tea ready. And he does his reading last thing at night while in bed. Works for us mose days. Some days are battles tho which is why I would prefer no homework.:-)

Roo said...

Bunch of kids outside that is lol

Tracy said...

wow thats amazing that all the families in your street have boys!
Our two come home from school, unpack their bags and get changed, have some afternoon tea and watch some telly, then it's homework time for about 30 mins and then they are allowed out to play in the street or are taken to their after school activities which fortunately are 4:30 onwards. No playing after dinner for our guys unless its school holidays, and hometime is normally 5pm if they are out playing in the street but this has been extended to 5:30 during daylight savings then they have to feed the pets do their chores and have dinner. Very structured and yes somtimes I feel mean too but it's all good preparation for when they are grown ups (thas what I tell them anyway, lol!)

Anonymous said...

Wveryone had some great tips!
Guess all I can say is... the what other people do or dont do argument, has never been a ground for me to do anything in this house/family/education and Chris has learned that that argument is a sure backfire thing;p
I am happy to regurgitate ad nauseum the reasons for our family rules, whatever they may be.. and Chris prefers not to selfinflict listening to that too often;p

Jenny said...

We have routines but some days they are different. My boys come home from school, have a snack and can watch TV until 4.30pm. Then it's homework time. With one at college, I'm finding that even if he does his homework after 7pm, he is still disciplined about it and gets it done. The intermediate boy has to be chased a bit. Like Bev, I don't believe in homework for homework's sake - rather it should be relevant to the day's work in class. At college this is usually the case; but I did find at primary and intermediate the homework was a waste of time. By all means, basic facts, spelling and reading need to be done, but the rest is often just window dressing

Anonymous said...

Hey ya! just had to come and check out what you been up to and this post caught my eye!
My kiddos play until 4:30...with snacks, swim, etc or whatever...and then it is jobs, homework, showers until tea at 6pm....then free time until 7pm. No playdates on Monday (cos I'm too tired!) or Wednesday (cos they are tired!)....it is a huge deal and issue...and if I'm super busy I struggle to enforce it but with four kiddos, it turns into a disaster at the end of the day if I don't!
...and next time I'm near you...I'll for sure do your photos! If you still want me to!